Kohn seems to love and respect children and makes some interesting points about the dangers of dominating your child. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting - including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. More than just another book about discipline, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send. Kohn cites a body of powerful and largely unknown research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. One basic need all children have, educator Alfie Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short.
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